I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
