just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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