I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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