don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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