love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
