that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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