Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
