so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
