I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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