I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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