Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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