i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize