Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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