U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
