I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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