Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
