Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
