Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All the doctor said was why
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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