I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't put those talents on a resume
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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