omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
