Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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