Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You ruined the universe
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