You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize