If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
