I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
