What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
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Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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