im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
