His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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