Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize