My nipple is on Facebook.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
