Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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