Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
