Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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