How'd it feel making her break her religion?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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