Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
