everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
