I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize