you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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