hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize