omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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