are you still at the devil's house?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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