Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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