Porn is love you can see.
i was born a porn star she said
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
