it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
