You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
