he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize