Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
