I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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