Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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