Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My balls are so social today.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
