There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
