By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
