Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
