someone owes me an orgasm
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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