from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
