The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
