I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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